People pleasing is one of those things I’ve struggled with for most of my life, but recently I’ve been more aware of its effects. I’m also learning that this tendency could have developed from past experiences in my life.
For example, I never felt good enough for my dad. He is gifted at math and physics while I am not, which made me feel like I couldn’t live up to his expectations for me, especially when it came to academics. I felt criticized. And even when I did something well, I didn’t receive that masculine, fatherly affirmation that I desperately needed as an infant and as an adolescent. However, I don’t want to place all the blame on my father for my people pleasing tendencies. I must also take ownership of my own actions and behaviours even if my upbringing did play a part in this struggle.